Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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