Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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