I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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