Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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