ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize