i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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