Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize