Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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