Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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