I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize