This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize