The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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