Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize