THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize