I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize