Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
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Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
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Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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