Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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