I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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