i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize