Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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