you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How's work?
Spinning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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