Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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