Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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