I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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