U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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