Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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