If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize