I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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