So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize