I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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