Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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