just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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