I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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