So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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