but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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