You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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