i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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