with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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