I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize