I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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