Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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  (519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me. http://tfl.nu/7rdg
  Replies (12) Good night (3309) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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  (847): Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test http://tfl.nu/tst5
  Replies (13) Good night (2975) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee

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  (248): Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee http://tfl.nu/hv9p
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (2332) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.

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  (310): I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes. http://tfl.nu/odo7
  Replies (7) Good night (2214) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  can u get pink eye on your cock?

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  (207): can u get pink eye on your cock? http://tfl.nu/aw6r
  Replies (19) Good night (531) Bad night (5432) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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  (781): So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay http://tfl.nu/35ja
  Replies (11) Good night (4637) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I wish I had your problem

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  (319): I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women (319): I wish I had your problem http://tfl.nu/60uu
  Replies (11) Good night (4507) Bad night (834)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.

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  (303): I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it. http://tfl.nu/jr23
  Replies (7) Good night (2381) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

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  (613): Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover http://tfl.nu/cy4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3145) Bad night (1419) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.

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  (443): There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse. http://tfl.nu/gbkz
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (1615) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

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  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?

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  (314): She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her? http://tfl.nu/5dev
  Replies (18) Good night (2895) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.

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  (330): It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this. http://tfl.nu/6tb8
  Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (1067)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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  (516): He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/8pla
  Replies (4) Good night (1920) Bad night (363)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!

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  (613): She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved! http://tfl.nu/ke0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1627) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt

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