We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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