youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize