I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize