my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize