i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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