i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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