Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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