clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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