so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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